Sharing infertility stories

Telling your infertility stories can actually help you cope with things when working through infertility can feel like a very isolated journey. It’s not difficult to see who isn’t struggling with infertility – from the tricycle left on the front lawn to the ‘baby on board’ sticker in the back window – the evidence is all there. When a couple doesn’t have children, unless you know them well, you could never know if it’s by choice or not. Previously (as in before the internet) you could only find support groups in which to share your infertility stories in big cities. Besides, there was quite a stigma attached to being infertile. These days with the Internet you can see how many other couples are going through the same thing, and you can have the help of a cyber support group, as well as a real-live group.

Infertility stories of all shapes and sizes are rather easy to find on the net. Every situation is represented – repeated miscarriages, IVF and other fertility treatments, donated eggs, sperm, or womb (or all three!), multiple births and adoptions are all covered. You’ll certainly find some stories quite like to your story! The story that got my eyes all misted up was the one about a lady who gave her identical twin sister an ovary so she could get pregnant! It’s the perfect match! Identical DNA means the eggs are essentially identical to what she had anyway, and it also means that her body wouldn’t reject the ovary! The donating twin had already finished having the children she wanted so she was glad to donate, despite the risk of early menopause. It’s stories like that which really get me going.

And that raises another point: I must confess I’m not certain that it’s a completely helpful thing to have all these infertility stories available! Almost all of them seem to end with the couple getting pregnant though, which can encourage you, but they could also just make you more depressed. My humble opinion would be that while it’s a good idea to be part of an actual real-life support group while you read those infertility stories, since you should have care that is specificallytailored for your situation, and you also could do with a chance to share your own infertility story. If there aren’t any infertility support groups in your district, why not start one? Other couples in the area might benefit from having a platform to share their infertility stories. You might already be familiar with other couples who are battling, but maybe you could put up some flyers at the local doctor’s rooms. A compassionate, a ready ear and a fresh batch of cookies are all you need to start a support group – so why not go for it?

It is crucial to be able to relate your infertility stories, and to listen to the stories of other couples too. It might make things easier to manage knowing that you are not without help in your struggles so try to get a group in your area, or consider starting one yourself.

Here is more information on Infertility Stress. Here is a website with a free mini-course dedicated to Infertility.